All For One - Where do you stand on same sex marriage?

I do not generally use this blog to talk politics or take the world too seriously.  By and large, I try to offer advice about the wedding industry and I endeavour to keep the tone as light-hearted as possible.  But sometimes, there are topical issues that are too big to ignore.

theblaze.com

The question of gay marriage has reared it's ugly head again.  (It's the question that's ugly, not the marriage.)  Today the Scottish National Party (SNP) announced plans to introduce gay marriage as soon as 2015.  Earlier this year, President Obama came out saying that he is in favour of it.  Everywhere you look, someone has an opinion on it.

clericalwhsipers.blogspot.com

The issue is far less contentious here in the UK.  We've had civil partnerships, granting equal rights to homosexual couples as  since 2005.  Religious groups cried 'Hell!' and 'Damnation!' left right and centre when it was announced, but to no one's great surprise, it hasn't caused the end of the world.  Life carries on pretty much as normal.

economicstudents.com

My position on the issue is this: I do not give one jot for semantics - marriage, civil partnership - the ultimate point is that so long as the legal rights are in place, the terminology does not matter.  Love is love is love, no matter who you are.  I also believe that the government are missing a trick with civil partnerships.  Marriage should be as it always is: two people entering into a contract with the state via a ceremony.  This is whether they are a man and a man, a woman and a woman or a man and a woman.  Civil partnerships would be exactly the same thing, except for the ceremony part.  Instead, a contract would be signed and agreed - in the presence of two witnesses and local official - and couples would sign a document, agreeing to do all the things that couples promise to each other when entering a marriage.  A civil partnership would in this way, I believe, cut out the one element of marriage that co-habiting couples would rather avoid: the ceremony.

iamgill.blogspot.com

Whilst I am all for weddings - in fact, my business kinda relies on them! - it's an inescapable fact that some people are downright allergic to them.  The thought of being obliged to spend so much money on one day just to keep friends and family off their backs is more than enough to put some people off the idea.  This is a shame because marriage has been proven to be legally, socially and scientifically better for you than co-habitation.

lifeexaminations.wordpress.com

It is certainly not place to tell you how to think or feel, but I would urge anyone considering their opinion on gay marriage to think carefully about the implications from all sides.  I believe firmly in love; love at all costs.  Marriage relies on love, and I believe if you crush opportunities for marriage, you crush love too.

Afternoon Tea - an alternative hen night

Hen nights can wild and rauscous affairs.  Thanks to Ann Summers, you can trot about the open roads and the various night spots, sporting L plates, tiaras, mini wedding veils and mini penises too.  But for those of us who prefer the more sedate things in life, why not celebrate the end of singledom with a traditional afternoon tea.

The Dorchester

Afternoon teas are a brilliant way of involving your female friends of all ages, whether they're 9, 19 or 90.  Who doesn't like tea and cake???  Historically, they were started by the Duchess of Bedford as a way for her and her friends to gossip without their menfolk around, and to combat that mid-afternoon peckishness.  It became so popular that even men started to indulge.  Nowadays, it's fantastic little treat to yourself and your friends.

Source unknown

Afternoon teas are great for making you feel sophisticated.  If you're having a vintage wedding, afternoon tea is a great way for getting into the spirit of the occasion.  Here are my top recommendations for teas to tantilise the tastebuds:

Source unknown

The Cadogan Hotel, Knightsbridge


This hotel is one of my favourite spots for afternoon tea.  The quiet restaurant, attentive staff and vast selection of teas make for a wonderfully calm atmosphere.  It's a great place to chill out, and it's close enough to th Kings Road for a spot of shopping beforehand.

www.cadogan.com

Source unknown

The Park Lane Hotel, Mayfair


This hotel has all the decadence and glamour of its rival The Ritz down the road, but without the ginormous price tag.  Enjoy sumptuous sandwiches and scones, and why not try the Irish Cream tea with just a hint of whiskey.  The harpist  playing away in the corner adds a refined feel to the atmosphere.

http://www.sheratonparklane.com/dining

Author's own

The Goring Hotel, Victoria


If it's good enough for Kate Middleton, it's good enough for me.  A favourite with the royal family for decades, it's easy to fall in love with the gentle old world charms of the Goring hotel's dining room, not to mention the charming crockery in spite of it being yellow.  Not a cheap experience, but a memorable experience nonetheless.

http://www.thegoring.com/afternoontea.aspx

Beatons Tearoom & Bookshop, Tisbury, Wiltshire

Author's own

A tearoom with a twist: enjoy a delicious cup of tea and pick up a delightful read at the same time.  Part bookshop part teashop, this wonderful quirky place in the village of Tisbury is well worth the effort of getting to.  Why not have a walk around the wonderful countryside afterwards to burn those cheeky calories off?

http://www.beatonstearooms.co.uk/

You have any recommendations for a great afternoon tea, please drop me a line at louisesblooms@yahoo.co.uk 

Stay-cation - Honeymooning in the UK

Have you, or would you, ever considering honeymooning in the UK?  Yes, okay, I do know how mad that sounds, but hear me out...

webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk

As the adverts on TV say, why would you want to go abroad in 2012?  Around the country there are many events and festivals taking place to celebrate the Queen's Jubilee and the London Olympics.  There are a wide variety of museums and art galleries for all you culture vultures out there, including the newly opened Titanic Belfast museum.  

businessinsider.com

If you think that honeymooning in the UK is only for those who can't afford the Maldives or a Caribbean Island, think again.  Kate Winslet honeymooned in the Cotswolds with her first husband Jim Threapleton following her 'bangers and mash' pub reception.  Nearly every newly-wed couple in the royal family has spent part of their honeymoon in the UK.  You don't need to go abroad to have proper one-to-one time with your new husband.

dailymail.co.uk

One massive (and very romantic) advantage of travelling in the UK is that you can book your accommodation in your married names before you get there.  If you want to travel abroad using your married name, this will have to be changed on your passport before you're married.  The only way to do this is to change your name by deed poll ahead of the ceremony.  Not a problem if you don't need a passport.

prenuptialagreements.org

The other great advantage of staying in the UK is that, by saving money on travel, you have more spending money to treat yourself to souvenirs and days out.  Have you always wanted to go to the opera?  Maybe you've dreamt of going to that fancy restaurant you've had your eye on for years?  Now's the time, seize the moment!

 

northlondonmums.com

The honeymoon is often the part of a wedding that couples end up looking forward to the most. A lot of people do not appreciate just how stressful planning a wedding can be.  That's why having a honeymoon, or even just a few days away together, alone, after the festivities is vitally important.  It gives you a chance to reconnect as a couple and reflect on your special day.

Remember: Marriage is a tricky business and the wedding is just the start.

You Are (Un)Cordially Invited To... - Keeping the guest list simple

A nightmare that'll have you sweating and shivering.  Quite possibly the worst experience you'll ever have.  I am of course referring to compiling your wedding guest list.  Mind boggling, headache inducing, row causing... guest lists have been the death of more than one relationship before now.  Make sure yours is not the next casualty by following these basic tips:

 From author's private collection

When deciding who to invite to your big day, start with yourselves and who MUST be there and work out.  So many people I see start by panicking about the tangent relatives and former colleagues in far flung places.  There's the bride and the groom; that's two guests down already.  Your attendants must come next.  Then your parents: that's another 4.  Any siblings and other close family next, e.g. grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.  Then go to closest friends, token family (i.e. godparents, step family etc).  Having gone through all of these, if you have any space left over you can start thinking about work colleagues, distant family and neighbours.

From author's private collection

Your venue will dictate exactly how many people can be accomodated.  If you're holding your venue and sit-down reception in the same venue, find out the capacities of the ceremony room and the reception room.  If there is a discrepancy between the two, go with the smaller figure for your guestlist.  (As per previous blog entry, it is the epitome of bad manners to invite someone to the ceremony and not invite them to the sit down reception.)  Trust me, erring on the side of smaller numbers not only cuts costs, but it also makes putting your guest list together much simpler.  If you're worried about cutting some people out, no one is unlikely to be cross with the line "The venue is strictly limited as to the number of people we can invite."

Author's own

My most important rule is that your wedding is YOUR day, yours and your husband-to-be's.  No one else's.  If anybody makes that bigger a fuss about who should be there and not, they don't love you enough to care about what is really going to make you happy.  And frankly, their invite is the first one that can go in the bin!

From author's private collection

Put A Ring In It - Why bother with an engagement photoshoot?

It's a trend that started in America and I didn't realise how popular it was becoming until I learned that two acquaintences of mine had done one before their April nuptials last year.  What is the point of such a thing one wonders?  They're an extra expense,  and what value do they really serve?

blog.sheffieldweddingphotographer.com

Personal touches are all the rage when it comes to weddings at the moment.  Couples want their big day to be reflection of who they are as people, and rightly so.  As part of this, there is a notable trend towards couples printing up wedding invitations featuring photographs of themselves.  This is especially useful for guests who have only ever met one part of the couple, e.g. work colleagues, those living abroad, etc.

bethechange-bee.blogspot.com

Sometimes you can get to the wedding planning and realise that you've not got a single image of the two of you together as a couple.  You've been together for years, but somehow just not managed to ever get in the same frame as each other.  It happens.  An engagement shoot certainly corrects that problem.

thisisweddingphotography.com

It also gives you an opportunity to get to know how photographers and photography work.  There's no pressure during an engagement shoot so you'll have plenty of time to ask questions: what does that do?  Which positions look best?  How do you make the most of the light?  Think of it as a dress rehearsal for your big day.  It's an added bonus if you're using the same photographer that you plan to use for your wedding, but it's not essential.

omgimgettingmarried.com

One of the best reasons I can think of for having an engagement shoot is simply to have some 'time' together as a couple.  Weddings are pretty stressful things and they can take their toll on your relationship.  An engagement shoot gives the two of you time together to enjoy each other's company and remember why it is you decided to get married.  Have the shoot in a place that means something to both of you.  Keep the pictures as reminder of everything you feel right in that moment.

photosbyg.com

Remember: marriage is hard work, the wedding is just the beginning.

The Right Words - find the perfect readings for your wedding

I have heard some people say that they think readings at weddings are a waste of time.  People want to get the ceremony over and done with as fast as they can in order to get to the reception and have a drink.  To me, this is rather sad.  A typical wedding ceremony lasts around 30mins and it is such a significant moment in a couple's life that it deserves at least a couple of minutes pause and reflections.

Source unknown

It's all to easy to become obsessed with 'The Wedding' and forget that after 'The Wedding' comes the Marriage.  Readings help to focus the mind, to remind those witnessing your marriage why they are there, and to give a sense of the kind of couple you intend to be; whether that is reflective and level-headed, or lighted-hearted and humourous.

youdidntdidyou.com

The first place to start looking for suitable readings is, of course, ye olde faithful Google.  The web has a wealth of poetry, short stories, sayings, proverbs and anecdotes at its fingertips.

 

internetrankmasters.com

If you're a little more traditional, you could head to your local bookshop or library.  There are hundreds of books giving suggestions on readings for a wedding ceremony, but there are are also poetry anthologies, such as the Nation's Favourites collections put together by the BBC.  Take a look at the Love poems or the ones about Desire and you're bound to find something.

Source unknown

If you're having a religious ceremony, speak to your minister about passages from religious texts that might be appropriate.  (Remember: if you're having a civil ceremony, any piece you choose must not contain any religious references or connotations whatsoever. ) Always read a piece all the way through before making a decision about it.  It must be appropriate to you as a couple.  There's no point in having someone reading out something you or your partner thinks is utter rubbish.

 

Author's own

You could always do what two friends of mine for their wedding: they turned to a close writer friend (i.e. ME!) to write and then read something composed for them and them alone.  This is what I wrote for them:

Throwing Out The Cliches

The other afternoon I went to my closet, searching for the right words.  I had a very important speech to make; I was speaking at my friends’ wedding.  I’d known them for years and I wanted to find the perfect speech for their perfect day.  As I opened the closet door, a ‘love is like a red red rose’ and a ‘compare thee to a summer’s day’ fell out.  I picked them up and looked at them.  They were classics for sure - the Mary-Janes of love poetry - but they looked a bit tired and old.  I’d worn them too many times before.  So I put them to one side and carried on looking.  I came across a ‘Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing’ I hadn’t used since 2002.  I doubted it would fit anymore.  Further on, I found a ‘My Heart Will Go On’ that was even older.  I shook my head in disbelief, tutting to myself at the rubbish I had kept hold of.  This closet didn’t need a clearout – it needed an exorcism!  At the back, I found a little box of tiny gems such as ‘I can’t live if living is without you’, ‘Never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight’ and a very precious ‘you are the wind beneath my wings.’  Beautiful though these gems were I didn’t think they were quite right for this occasion.  As I moved through the closet, I found more one-time classics like ‘You had me at Hello’, ‘Here’s looking at you, kid’ and ‘Ditto’.  But everyone had heard those before.  What was the point in saying the same old thing yet again?  And it was then that I had my eureka moment.  The thunderbolt of inspiration; my muse of fire!  Why not start from scratch and create something completely new.  Something in today’s style, something that would fit perfectly and, above all, something that would keep it simple:  The groom is a man who’s kept me laughing for more than ten years.  From belching his way through school plays to a scarily accurate impression of a psychotic RS teacher.  And he didn’t even shout at me the day I shut his nose in a door.  The bride is a lady guaranteed to make me feel inadequate because her beauty, her smile and the warmth of her personality could outshine Sellerfield during a meltdown.  I am so happy you two have found each other and, like everyone else here in this room, I want nothing but good things for you two; even if you’re engagement and subsequent setting of your wedding date has set me back a tenner.  I love you both very much.  And with that ‘I love you’ I realised I’d uttered the ultimate cliché.  But I thought, ‘What the heck?  Just because it’s a cliché, that doesn’t make it wrong.’  So I said it again: I love you both very much.

Author's own

If you would like to have a poem or story written for your special occasion, please get in touch with me at elra_desmond@yahoo.co.uk

Inspiration from Hollywood - Weddings from the movies

When Elizabeth Taylor married first husband Nicky Hilton back in 1953, she loved her wedding dress from 'Father of The Bride' so much that she had a near identical one made for her actual wedding.  Similarly when Grace Kelly married Prince Rainier of Monaco, she had the world's top couturiers falling at her feet.  She ignored them, and when straight to MGM costume designer Helen Rose who had worked on such films as 'Annie Get Your Gun', 'Two Weeks of Love', 'On The Town', and even Taylor's 'Father of the Bride.'   In doing so, she created one of the most iconic wedding gowns of all time; echoed and repeated ever since.

fashion-era.com

Hollywood movies have been giving inspiration for weddings everywhere since they first began.  Here we take a looking back at some of the best movie weddings of all time:

ayyyy.com

Let's start with.......

celebritybrideguide.com

Twilight: Breaking Dawn was one of the most highly anticipated weddings of 2011, second only to the Royal Wedding.  The Caroline Herrera dress worn by Bella Swann was a closely guarded secret.  The detail in the lace on the back as seen to it that 'back detail' is a hot bridal trend at the moment.

wedding75.com

Mammia Mia! had its central bride Sophie in a Grecian style flayered and flowing gown, designed to look as if she'd made it herself.  It had to be a dress appropriate to the scorching hot temperatures of the Greek island of Skopelos.  Whilst it may not have set the world alight in the fashion stakes, Mammia Mia! reportedly had tourists visiting the Greek Isles in droves.  An excellent spot for a romantic honeymoon.

screenrush.co.uk

Four Weddings And A Funeral simply has to get a mention.  Okay, it's not a strictly Hollywood flick, but it was such a smash over in the US as the British film industry hadn't had in decades.  The film helped to push aside the long-sleeved cuffed dresses and Juliette caps of the 1970s and 80s and made way for puffy sleeves and floral headdresses.  The wedding dress retailer, Berketex Brides who supplied all the dresses featured in the film, also got a healthy boost to their business.

stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com

Sex & The City produced quite a few highly stylish gowns, but this one surely has to be the most iconic of all of them.  With the trademark Vivienne Westwood neckline and a huge princess skirt of the kind not seen since Princess Diana got married, this dress was a piece of unadulterated, luxuriant eye candy.  It's no wonder that because of it, Vivienne was put in the ring to design Kate Middleton's dress.

onefinedaybridalandgown.com

In the last film she ever made before becoming a princess, Grace Kelly emulated 50s bridal glamour with the calf-length flaired skirt and long-sleeved ensemble in MGM's High Society.      It was yet anothet Helen Rose creation which took inspiration from the fashion houses of Europe with the Dior-style hat.  The lily of the valley motif can be seen on some of the SS12 lines now.

neon-splendor.tumblr.com

Even Julie Andrews herself said of her Sound of Music wedding dress: "That dress was a miracle.  I've never felt prettier before or since."  And we're inclined to agree with you, Julie.  Simplicity was the key to this gown.  No frills, no lace, no fuss.  It hugged the actress's body and showed off her lovely curves beautifully.  Teamed with a simple floral headdress and a cathedral length veil, it was true to Maria's country-loving roots, but impressive enough to fill the Saltzberg Cathedral.